Sunday, 5 February 2017

How to Move On When You’re Hurt?

Have you ever been hurt? Have you ever waited for an apology that never came? Have you ever felt that someone needed to say “sorry” to you but they didn’t do it? Let’s say a friend throws a party without inviting you, or a co-worker misses a deadline that’s crucial for your favorite project or your partner / spouse really hurts you. You may be gracious enough to forgive if you receive a sincere apology, but what happens if the other person refuses to say the words you long to hear?
Author Robert Brault says, “Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.” Now, it sounds like an awesome idea doesn’t it? But the question is how to make the first move?
One of the things that has personally helped me a lot in situations like this is to always remind myself that the advantages of forgiveness are the same whether the other person apologizes or not. Think of pardoning others as something you do for yourself rather than for them.
1. Drop the resentment – “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” – Nelson Mandela. Grudges are like a heavy weight on our being. When you release your anger and disappointment, you’ll free up energy that you can devote to the things you love.
2. Be Generous – Each of us makes mistakes don’t we? But unfortunately, we often judge others on their actions and judge ourselves on our intentions. When you give someone a second chance, remember that you’ll probably need one yourself someday.
3. Value your relationships. Family and friends are precious. Develop connections that can withstand conflicts. Resolving your disagreements can even draw you closer together when you cooperate on finding solutions.
4. Take control of your feelings. You’re in charge of your own happiness. Focus on something that gives you happiness and joy instead of checking your phone to see if your partner/spouse apologized yet. “Letting go gives us freedom and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” -Thich Nhat Hanh
5. Let It Go. “Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.” – Martin Luther King Jr. Most of all, a loving and forgiving heart is good for your own mental and physical health.


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