Monday, 13 February 2017

Reasons Why Fighting Your Partner Might Be Good For Better Relationships

The real test of the quality of a romantic partnership is how you both handle conflict. You may have heard how couples who fight together, stay together but you probably have never really understood why it is believed to be gospel truth.

Just to be clear, we’re not talking about toxic,
physically or emotionally abusive conflicts in a relationship. If that is happening to you or someone you know, you need to seek help or run the other way, fast. But, when it comes to healthy conflict, here’s why this age old philosophy is the ultimate test of a relationship (and not just a romantic one).

It proves you're completely honest with each other.

You may love several aspects about each other, but at the end of the day, you’re both individuals with opinions that may be contrary to each others. If you can put your point forward, stand up for what you believe in, especially about something you’re not comfortable about, and argue with your partner about it, it proves that you’re comfortable enough with them to voice your opinion out loud and defend it. Conflict often brings out the worst in us. And being honest in a dispute exposes your emotional, aggressive, and vulnerable side.

The fact that you’re not afraid to bring out your flaws to the forefront and disclose your “bad” side, proves that you’ve reached a point where you don’t need to hold back and be at your best behaviour in front of your partner. Fighting proves you no longer have to put up a façade and you’re comfortable to expose the more unattractive side of your personality.

It proves you're not intimidated by one another.
In an abusive relationship, the ‘fights’ often entail the abuser doing all the emotional manipulation (or worse, physical harm) and the victim taking it and silently suffering through it all. In a healthy relationship however, fights are often evenly matched arguments in which both partners are equally vocal about what’s bothering them. If you’re not scared to let your partner know that you’re uncomfortable about something or are not okay with something they’ve done, you’ve reached a point where you’re not afraid of or intimidated by each other. And that is definitely a good sign.

It helps you correct your flaws.
You may be perfect for each other, but you’re obviously not perfect human beings. You both have your fair share of characteristic flaws that you can only know about when you are put to the test through a trying situation. Fighting often amplifies your flaws and then you can’t ignore that ugly alter ego you don’t want anyone to be acquainted with. After the waves have settled and the fight has been resolved you can objectively reflect on where you went wrong and what you want to correct about yourself. In fact, not only does a fight help correct your own flaws but also helps you point out your partner’s faults and vice-versa, and the cycle of correcting each other and growing as people goes on.

It helps you have shared memories.
A relationship is essentially a journey of having shared experiences and collecting memories along the way. Occasional arguments and healthy conflict gives you a happy mix of good, bad, and sometimes funny memories to look back at and even laugh about every now and then. Remember the last time you had a hearty laugh about an immature argument you had some time in the past? You owe that laugh to the fights that are strengthening your shared memories and bond.

It helps you appreciate the good times.
Speaking of shared memories, fights often enable you to actually live every good moment to its fullest and appreciate the happy time free from mutual bickering and one-upmanship. And occasionally, you may even end up resolving a fight with your partner after some introspection involving remembering all the good memories you’ve shared together.

It helps dissolve your massive ego.
At the end of the day, what matters more than the fight itself is how you resolve the fight. And if you can successfully resolve a long-running argumen



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